Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
handjob tips. give me some.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
