I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My hand turned me down
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
