Life is so much better after having sex.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
