Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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