evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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