hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
