Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
