so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
