hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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