I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
