Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
