You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
