I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
