Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its not stalking. its research.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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