I am puke
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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