You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
