I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
