I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
