i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
