The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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