K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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