My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
