I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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