we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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