Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
