U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
as a side note pls kill me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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