the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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