Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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