i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We left an ass print on the piano.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
They have beer where we have blood.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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