we're blogging at a bar
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
