WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
