I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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