Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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