two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My balls are so social today.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize