who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
