This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
