I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
