We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
