No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
