Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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