it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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