Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
