She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
