Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
