Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he puts the penis in happiness.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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