maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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