Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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