how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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