kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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