I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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