he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
