Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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