he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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