We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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