hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
