Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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