I could have mohawked her pubes.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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