I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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