The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
