You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
