I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
