the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
